come and get it

it's apparently spring/

a bit of a blur

people who are fantastically decadent and spontaneous and who lead extraordinary lives usually only do so until their thirties, at which point they retire to the country and tinker with idle pursuits and frivolous hobbies.
this is only possible because of some acquired wealth

if i am to have this kind of life, i won't want it to last forever.
need to aqcuire some wealth or property

from some old fashioned book

i am twenty six. i feel twenty six. i have had twenty six years

life is more than alright.

TWENTY SIX

THIS IS MY BODY.

hey, that's no way to say goodbye

my computer broke at christmas and i had to reinstall everything, but i forgot to do last.fm, which i just did yesterday (as part of my investigation into whether the shuffle function on my media player has become self aware) and i'm pretty gutted it didn't scrobble all the leonard cohen and smiths i've been listening to for the past two months or so. it's creating some sort of identity crisis, and maybe i am spending too much time in my own company.

it seems worse than it is (a haiku)

I can't get a job
it's a fucking recession
bankers tending bar

that was a haiku btw

it's going to be okay
it's going to be okay
it's going to be okay
it's going to be okay


exhale
sigh

i'm sleeping on somebody else's bedroom floor. it's not too bad. nobody can find a job. warren gave me bananas. i came last at scrabble

i'm going to get a degree
i'm going to write the novel
but first
i need a job :(

what i did on the weekend

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=rJZficYI2d8

it's heavy
death in my belly
and this is when your words sting

the sky from on top

go slowly.

i want to remember the feelings

i'm sad because i don't want to be alone anymore. i don't know what i thought i want ed but i guess now i know. i want someone who i can think about all day and who will be nice to me. i'm so tired of the solitary nature of my life. i feel exhausted, but i now know i have to not see simon again. or i am going to spend the next ten months hoping he'll want to be my boyfriend. and i don't have enough self esteem to try and trick him into it. and it's such a shame. there was a point where it changed, must have been something i did. i'm so sad about it. a tiny broken off piece of my heart. he's a good man and he was nice to me. what happened? so. time to find somebody new. because that's what i want. i just feel so empty. he doesn't know what he's given away, i was going to be so good to him. his nice face. this is when i cry a bit.

because there's nothing i can do.